I have to be honest... recently life has been a crazy mess, and the mess doesn't seem to be getting any easier, or truthfully any harder.
Right now life is just one big ball of chaos...
If I was being honest, what I want someone to say is that there is an easy fix and it will all just go away. just pray this prayer, read this book listen to this message, just do ________.... and it will all go away....
but as my mentor explained to me the other day.
the problem with things "just going away," is... it doesn't solve the problem or teach you anything. you don't learn any more reliance on the Lord or new forms of discipline or things you "do" need to change... you don't learn anything... the truth is sometimes rushing out of a struggle or a problem, leads you to miss out on what you could have learned....
A great leader once said to me... [while I was going through a tough time, I wanted to just be over...I wanted to feel "normal" again... to go back to the way things "were"....]
"it would be a shame to go through all this and be the same on the other side, wouldn't it???"
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Diner Girl #2
Diner Girl #2 was different than Diner Girl #1 from the last post....
Diner Girl #2 knew my name.
Diner Girl #2 had a story and she needed to talk.
I spent the next 1/2 hour or so listening to her story. She had been through a lot in the last year... and as she talked I thought about a speaker who had recently been at our church. His name is Don Sunshie. He was really interesting, he talked about the lifestyle of evangelism and reaching out to others. He talked about how we need to see every opportunity as just that and opportunity... As I sat talking to Diner Girl #2... I was reminded of the importance of listening and of sharing what we have to offer with one another...
Diner Girl #2 knew my name.
Diner Girl #2 had a story and she needed to talk.
I spent the next 1/2 hour or so listening to her story. She had been through a lot in the last year... and as she talked I thought about a speaker who had recently been at our church. His name is Don Sunshie. He was really interesting, he talked about the lifestyle of evangelism and reaching out to others. He talked about how we need to see every opportunity as just that and opportunity... As I sat talking to Diner Girl #2... I was reminded of the importance of listening and of sharing what we have to offer with one another...
Diner Girl #1
Interesting how an evening that is supposed to be so calm and relaxed can be so frustrating.
Recently I went to a diner to do some studying... while I was in college, my best study hours were in the evening particularly at a diner. With all that I have had going on in my head recently with our ministry starting it's fall semester and getting married and my regularly [so it feels] changing job description, life has been a little stressful to say the least. So On this given night, I felt compelled to the old stomping grounds of studying at a restaurant... I had a particular restaurant in mind, and rolled over there, to enjoy a relaxing evening of coffee and my study book.
Low and behold my evening did not go as planned - no sooner did I arrive was a table of 3 young adults seated next to me... the next hour and a half was what i would describe as painful to say the least.... first off they were there of the chattiest people I have ever heard, a limited amount of what they ordered was right,and it felt like they were shouting the whole time[which they were not].
the most random part of the conversation I heard from Diner Girl #1 as I will call her was this... so this boy she was talking to started calling her "bud" for this reason... "I can't call you babe so i thought bud was good..."
ridiculous!!! as if my supposed to be good night couldn't get any worse... so began the bud conversation... why would he do that? why would anyone call a girl that? and on and on it went until they finally left and the relief of silence came... and with it came Diner Girl #2...
Recently I went to a diner to do some studying... while I was in college, my best study hours were in the evening particularly at a diner. With all that I have had going on in my head recently with our ministry starting it's fall semester and getting married and my regularly [so it feels] changing job description, life has been a little stressful to say the least. So On this given night, I felt compelled to the old stomping grounds of studying at a restaurant... I had a particular restaurant in mind, and rolled over there, to enjoy a relaxing evening of coffee and my study book.
Low and behold my evening did not go as planned - no sooner did I arrive was a table of 3 young adults seated next to me... the next hour and a half was what i would describe as painful to say the least.... first off they were there of the chattiest people I have ever heard, a limited amount of what they ordered was right,and it felt like they were shouting the whole time[which they were not].
the most random part of the conversation I heard from Diner Girl #1 as I will call her was this... so this boy she was talking to started calling her "bud" for this reason... "I can't call you babe so i thought bud was good..."
ridiculous!!! as if my supposed to be good night couldn't get any worse... so began the bud conversation... why would he do that? why would anyone call a girl that? and on and on it went until they finally left and the relief of silence came... and with it came Diner Girl #2...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
contentment and desire
I had a great conversation with a friend of mine today. We discussed a whole variety of things... but one of the things that came up with contentment vs. desire...
We talked for a little while about the idea in our world today that the "contentment" is considered to be the absense of some thing that we desire.
Ex. I want to be in a relationship, but people tell me the way to find that relationship is to just be content. Like maybe there is a magical formula to contentment, that once I find it will bring me peace and happiness until I find what I really want....
I don't think that is always the case...sometimes, maybe, but not as often as we explain it to people like that...
Here is a little more of what I think it looks like...
An alcoholic choosing to live a sober life... it doesn't mean that the desire to drink disappears, but that they are making a choice about how they will live.
Choosing to live a pure life before marriage and waiting to have sex until you are married... doesn't mean that you are void of sexual desire goes away or that you won't be horny. It means that you have made a choice to inspite of that desire commit to a way of life.
Sometimes I think contentment is being able to live in the pressence of something you desire, and being ok with not needed to have it...
We talked for a little while about the idea in our world today that the "contentment" is considered to be the absense of some thing that we desire.
Ex. I want to be in a relationship, but people tell me the way to find that relationship is to just be content. Like maybe there is a magical formula to contentment, that once I find it will bring me peace and happiness until I find what I really want....
I don't think that is always the case...sometimes, maybe, but not as often as we explain it to people like that...
Here is a little more of what I think it looks like...
An alcoholic choosing to live a sober life... it doesn't mean that the desire to drink disappears, but that they are making a choice about how they will live.
Choosing to live a pure life before marriage and waiting to have sex until you are married... doesn't mean that you are void of sexual desire goes away or that you won't be horny. It means that you have made a choice to inspite of that desire commit to a way of life.
Sometimes I think contentment is being able to live in the pressence of something you desire, and being ok with not needed to have it...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
learning about life
Today was an interesting day.
I overslept again today, I couldn't sleep last night... so I watched movies until late and then couldn't get up :P
It was a good day today though. Had a safe meeting, talked to some amazing young ladies I work wiht and was reminded about some things I love to do and about some life change I want to make.
I want to see everyday and every relationship as an opportunity, believing that God put us together for a reason at this moment.
maybe it is just to share life together, to talk, to listen, to share life ezperience, to help, to glean, to share, to work, to give, to recieve.
What if I started to live that way, like every moment with someone could be the last... not that you worry about dying, but about truly living....
Is that what Jesus meant when He said he came to give us life and life abundant?
I don't know, maybe...
I overslept again today, I couldn't sleep last night... so I watched movies until late and then couldn't get up :P
It was a good day today though. Had a safe meeting, talked to some amazing young ladies I work wiht and was reminded about some things I love to do and about some life change I want to make.
I want to see everyday and every relationship as an opportunity, believing that God put us together for a reason at this moment.
maybe it is just to share life together, to talk, to listen, to share life ezperience, to help, to glean, to share, to work, to give, to recieve.
What if I started to live that way, like every moment with someone could be the last... not that you worry about dying, but about truly living....
Is that what Jesus meant when He said he came to give us life and life abundant?
I don't know, maybe...
Monday, August 9, 2010
tough decisions
Over the past few weeks life has been filled with many new experiences. I am learning about being a "local" church pastor, one headed for credentials. My life has been filled with many trying and testing moments. I am learning what it looks like to stand on my own 2 feet. How to trust my own instincts and my ability to hear the voice of God. It is sometimes hard to hear it for yourself, let alone for the others who sit beneath me... my prayers are beginning to change as I attempt to be what He is calling me to be as He is calling me to lead.
Blessing & Wedding Rings
Today is 75 days until my wedding.
Chaos and confusion surround me some days as I prepare not only for that blessed day but also as I prepare for the life that will come after it. It has been an interesting and amazing journey so far, and I look forward to what is after this :)
But onto the wedding rings:
5 months ago when we started this journey with my mother's engagement ring, we had no idea how we would be able to afford our wedding rings. With both of us with salaries big enough to pay our bills we were not sure what we would do. So we prayed, looked for, and found the rings we wanted. We set up a layaway plan and began faithfully paying on them. Determine, hopeful, and prayerful that we would be able to pay them off. We DID!!!
I went this past Saturday to pay on my wedding band, the last to be paid off... and it turns out, my ring was on an even better sale... it was $30 cheap than the original really great sale!!! instead of having one more payment... for and extra $12.10 I took it home that day...
woohoo for the faithfulness of the Lord.
Chaos and confusion surround me some days as I prepare not only for that blessed day but also as I prepare for the life that will come after it. It has been an interesting and amazing journey so far, and I look forward to what is after this :)
But onto the wedding rings:
5 months ago when we started this journey with my mother's engagement ring, we had no idea how we would be able to afford our wedding rings. With both of us with salaries big enough to pay our bills we were not sure what we would do. So we prayed, looked for, and found the rings we wanted. We set up a layaway plan and began faithfully paying on them. Determine, hopeful, and prayerful that we would be able to pay them off. We DID!!!
I went this past Saturday to pay on my wedding band, the last to be paid off... and it turns out, my ring was on an even better sale... it was $30 cheap than the original really great sale!!! instead of having one more payment... for and extra $12.10 I took it home that day...
woohoo for the faithfulness of the Lord.
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